I read a post the other day layered somewhere within my Substack feed. To paraphrase, it said something along the lines of if you publish on Substack and gain readers of your work, great. If not, then consider it your own personal online journal. Satisfaction could be had either way. To whoever wrote this, thanks, as I am now inspired to return to this site.
I lost my job a ways back. My company of many years was trimming the fat, reducing some of their onshore headcount. A retreat to attempt to win again in the future. It stung, but the rational me saw the sense in it. I needed to go anyway. I was not happy, and had not been for some time.
I've been witness to layoffs before. I have even had to layoff members of my team, but I've never been part of the cull. I considered myself a survivor in these past situations, somehow able to dodge and weave enough to stay onboard. Or maybe I was gullible enough to stick it out and do the work of three, while two sat on their severance. This time I was not so lucky. And here I am.
Summer was okay because it was distracting. Now that all is back to normal, kids back in school, days getting cooler, I am feeling the crush of what is in front of me. Now I have to work at getting work. Now I have to question so many earlier decisions and think if they were the right ones, or ones that have put me here today. In my 50s. A career in technology. Where am I to go next?
I have used this time to study. Read a ton of books. Write. Draw. Hoping that when I eventually come out the other side of this 'period' I will be a better person. It is the best that anyone could hope for, I guess.